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  • Colton James Townsend

Dreamweaving Sadhana

Updated: Nov 13

"Love is a ladder; it allows us to climb out of ourselves." Noah benShea. As read from a sugar packet on the counter of the breakfast diner I'm sitting at.


I feel that I'm really facing up to the pits of my own sh!t, my own fucking loneliness in this Air Medicine. Blowing even exacerbates it (to be expected?).


I'm finding that the antidote may be to release my energy from trying to bring people into my life, or in seeking out how to insert myself into theirs. I may find my way to love and belonging in deepening my self-partnership, practicing my commitments to self-discovery, healing, and expansion. If so, I will have to do my work, rigorously and without condition, and patiently wait for the invitation to create another love in my life, using discernment and insight to bring attunement to our path of connection. And when I generate the invitation for others to come along with me, I do so in sacred harmony with my complete being: I offer a gift to share and cultivate together.


I feel as though the winds of my environment and social network are pounding against my preferences and expectations, breaking them down to their constituent elements. These forces are diverting my course and thwarting my momentum. I'm finding that as desperately as I want to connect and share my gifts with others, a constant frustration prevails and the spotlight shifts back toward me: to my defects, my wounds, my unbridled passions. Unleashed from the fetters of another's gravity, willingly or of my own initiative, I rest in the void, questioning the way ahead.


To allow my genius to express more directly in the investment of soul currency.

  • Revealing reality

  • Editing for the greater truths

I've been afraid for so long: "Nobody I care about wants to come with me. Nobody wants to take me in."


I've been seeking the source of blame, the root cause: "What the fuck is wrong with me? What's wrong with them and their hearts?"


I've been watching my resentments and self-pity compound: "This person is selfish and uncaring. I am worthless and broken."

  • Writing

  • Rewriting

  • Directing with Intuition



Huckleberry Square restaurant counter, Burien, WA.

Thursday morning.

Soggy wet, drizzly and gray skies full of splayed out, soppy clouds.

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