“We are not on Earth’s surface, I assure you.
Together, in the Giant of the Deep, we are under the surface.
We are, if I had to approximate based on this precise moment of tidal fluctuations… hmm… about 1,676 meters deep, hovering just above the ocean floor. Don’t worry, Earthbound; the pressure is adapted to suit both of our specimens adequately.
You will be able to return home after attending to your assignment.”