How Perfectionism and fantasizing will surely ruin you

Each day, while I'm semi-awake in bed and start to think about the day ahead, I find that I'm surely fantasizing about how great I'll be today. I often fail.
Last Updated:
January 29, 2020
First Published:
January 20, 2020
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The Process of Mental Anguish. Or, How to Surely Grow to Hate Yourself.

It might be detrimental to hold on to too many good ideals for yourself.

PROJECTING PERFECTION: Fantasies of self-discipline, mastery, a proud performance of productivity in the very short-term. In the morning, you sort of wish that you will execute on all these great ideas you have for yourself today. Or, in the afternoon, you sort of give up on trying much harder in the hours until you go to bed because you can see just how great you could be tomorrow if you took it easy for the rest of today.

We assume that even if we're facing a lot of resistance right now and letting that take control, later on, we'll somehow be removed of that. Our well-intended conscious will, will see us through to accomplishing all of our goals and desires

What kind of reasoning is that?

Trying to prove yourself [the subject here is interchangeable]

  1. FANTASIZING : Trigger moment of suggestion
  2. FANTASIZING : Desire
  3. FANTASIZING : Expectation
  4. FANTASIZING : Attachment
  5. FANTASIZING : Fear
  6. TIME : Window of opportunity
  7. TIME : Window of delivery
  8. AFFECT : Judgement
  9. AFFECT : Rumination (infinitely to influence the next step)
  10. AFFECT : Installation of beliefs
  11. SUGGESTION = I have an internal suggestion trigger: I lie in bed in the morning, thinking about how cruddy I feel, "I should care for my body today".
  12. DESIRE = I want to move, stretch, and exercise so that my body feels better and I feel better about it.
  13. EXPECTATION = I have plenty of time today for doing things that help me to care for my body. I can do these.
  14. ATTACHMENT = I should be able to do these things on my own today.
  15. FEAR = Maybe I don't recognize it right away, but I know if I fail to act up to my fantasy, I will prove to be faulty.
  16. OPPORTUNITY = [time arrives during the day in which I could perform my acts] I don't.
  17. DELIVERY = [time arrives when it's either the last chance to act or I should present success] I don't. I can't.
  18. JUDGEMENT = Fuck me. I sucked today.
  19. RUMINATION = Wow, I'm not getting any better at this.
  20. INSTALLATION = Fuck me. I suck.
colton james townsend smiles for the camera with the seattle port in the background

Colton James Townsend

Storyteller and Teacher at coltonjamestownsend.com, "Fearless Story Productions" and "Wake Up & Do Me"

I live, work, and write in the fine city of Walla Walla, Washington. I help creative people and business owners publish stories and content for the web so they can achieve results online, personally and professionally. You're an expert in your field or a person with a strong story to tell — I help you broadcast your knowledge and experiences effectively. The results? Amplification.

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